don’t the stop signs look like roses?

and the trees like helping hands?

doesn’t love feel like a lifetime?

like a bottle to the sand?

when the dust looks like confetti

and your regrets grow into plans,

just know the way you love me

makes ordinary grand.

don’t reflections look like angels?

as their cheering from the stands?

don’t freckles look like stars,

as the world spins like a dance ?

and when the day turns into night,

like a boy grows to a man,

just know the way you love me

makes ordinary grand.

-amd

“she looks a lot like summer,

and i look a lot like rain.

she has eternity to lose,

but i have forever to gain.

i fell asleep deep inside a dark place,

the shadows painted on my face

like graffiti on a wall.

it was cold, for a summer singin season,

but the ice gave me a reason,

to never love anyone, or anything at all.

i hated sleep

cuz sleeping just meant dreaming,

and dreaming just meant sinking

into a time and place that i could not understand.

when did they sky become so god damn blue?

what beautiful things a pair of eyes can do.

you can hate the rain for what it’s not,

but sometimes the pain is all we’ve got.

yea, even when the sky wasn’t so blue

i always saved a little faith for you.

love the rain for washing pain away

but love the pain for giving the rain a chance to stay.

someone sent us another chance,

with the ribbon wrapped around our hands,

yea, even when the sky wasn’t so blue

i always kept some faith inside for you.

you looked a lot like summer,

and i looked a lot like rain.

you had me to lose,

but i had you to gain.”

-alex

p.s. i know i look a little scary in this picture… forgive me.

do you remember me?

the boy who kissed you with his back against the tree.

i stayed awake to watch your smile sing to me,

i never shut my eyes…you were my only dream.

now i’m missing everything.

you were my marilyn and i was your james dean.

wanted  to act out all the classic movie scenes,

but we were more in love than they could ever be.

do you remember life?

i’d tuck you in at least a half million times.

i miss the days i felt your body next to mine.

i pulled you closer just to hear them harmonize.

i won’t be afraid of the dark,

i picked up the pieces when he broke apart your heart.

holding you tightly as you cried inside my arms,

i spent the night in tears just knowing you were harmed.

i haven’t seen you since,

writing you letters that i never seem to send.

re-living inside jokes and asking how you’ve been.

sincerely,  mr. “i’ve been missing you to death.”

i’m still your biggest fan.

i know your heartbeat like the back of praying hands.

i caught you long before you offered me the chance,

but why you ran away, i’ll never understand.

-alexander michael

50 years from now..

ever wanted to know what your favorite band guy is going to look like in half a century? i know the joke they are trying to make, but come on! this was way too easy! when looking at this i can’t help but to think about my friend…

ice cream.

-alex

a gift to you. “this i promise you” cover.

i always get people saying they wish i could sing them to sleep or that i should cover in nsync song. well..here’s my shot at both. this is me and a guitar. one take at 3 in the morning. i really hope you enjoy it and that it is what you were looking for. my voice is pitchy..and we all know i am no guitar god..so just take it for what it is. raw and…well….me. i love you guys…you know i’ll always do what i can to make you smile. i can’t believe i am actually posting this for the world to hear. also..i may be recording a video cover of me doing another justin song very soon. keep your eyes and ears open.

-alexander michael

one week.

on sundays i am a “yes” in a room filled with no’s. wearing smiles as if they were hand-me down clothes. yes they might come fully- equipped with a few patches and holes…but having the sun in my eyes is the only view i’ll ever know.

on mondays i am forever and a day, an old man making a mark on strength, yet a child clinging onto the words that they’ll say, only to challenge their words and whimsical ways.

on tuesdays i am the “i knew it all along,” the words behind her simple songs, walking through a world that she has conquered and palmed, waiting below her window pebbles in hand and heart on her lawn.

on wednesday i am lost to the sky behind the clouds, like a desperate tongue in a simplistic mouth, with a cage filled with words just begging to get out, waiting for a kiss to bring the rain and end the drought.

on thursday i sing silence in a room filled with screams. i am a needle nightmare in a haystack full of diamond shaped dreams. i’m a set of greedy eyes in a room full of teams. and the lights i choose to free, are the lights i long to be.

on fridays i am the heartbeat behind the ready roars, the believing bird behind the sophomore soars, the handshakes and laughter behind the open doors, as i stand up with a window in my arms ready for more.

on saturdays i’m a “good” in a room filled with greats. i am a monster dining with saints. i’ve got a handful of loves, but a chest full of hates… and when it comes time to fly, i am scared that i will settle for walking with grace…

but on on sundays i am still a “yes” in a room filled with no’s. wearing smiles as if they were hand-me down clothes. of course they come fully- equipped with a few patches and holes…but with every week that passes i’ll allow myself to grow.

-alexander michael

a collection of words.

don’t get your hopes up. it’s not all about anyone too specific. different words are inspired and provoked in many different ways. here is something i have thrown together on loss, love, commitment, hurt, and light. hope you guys enjoy it. it means a lot that you even take the time to read this. i write all the time…i figure i’ll start sharing it with you… because if  don’t it’ll just rot away in a hard drive and never see the light of day. enjoy. i hope these words make you feel something as they do me. we are family. we all share the same blood, sweat, and tears as the person next to us. we are all more alike than you know.

“once upon a mind..these eyes could see the sky. now the clouds are just a bunch of alibis… and the day is really just a night light… doing it’s best to keep my monsters out of sight. once upon a dream… i could feel what i could see..and what i could see was much more deep…than a broken heart sewn back up at the seams. i promised a life. and one with a view. i swore i would hold her forever..until the sky ran out of blue.  this is war. i point my love like a gun. this is war. i did what had to be done.  if life is a show…i’m going to steal it. if luck is a lady…you know i am going to feel it. if love hurts…i’m going to find a way to heal it…and if life drives her crazy…you know i am the one who was born to steer it. i’ll be damned if this storybook is ending…because her love is the only gold worth wearing. can’t you see? she is my jewlery. i would wear her just to feel her shine. i would repair her just to make her mine. her body like a glass of wine…and a voice reminiscent of a distant lullaby.  what do i do when she’s gone? yea, i have kissed the girls and made them cry…but what fun is a kiss when your hands are tied? things are not the same..not even close. when she was with me, she told me i made her feel like a million bucks…but i guess she’d rather be broke. without her here…i live in fear. not fear of who i am, or who i am meant to be. but fear of cheer. is happiness complete without a smile? is death just a date, if you don’t go out in style? if it is inevitable that we are all going to die… could i request that i at least go in peace with her elegance at my side? we used to get along you know…the pictures say it all…but what’s the use of photographs…when there’s no room on the walls? i should have known when i reached for the sun, that my hands were bound to get burned…and i should have known when i needed someone that their backs would all be turned. what do you do when the butterflies turn into moths? the laughs turns to coughs… the words turn into thoughts…and the heart is found in a box? one day she’ll turn the car around. you had me closing my eyes and making a wish..that heaven above feels something like this. it was like casting a line in hopes of a star…and getting the moon as it falls asleep in your arms. truth or dare. the truth is i’ll never find another her…and i dare her to find someone else that loves her half as much as i do. all of their heartbeats combined… couldn’t make half the noise that her heart makes every time she smiles or speaks. she is my marilyn. she is my one forever. who says when you fall you have to fall down? she is beauty and beyond…  once upon a heart…she was the end, the middle, and the start…and though it all fell apart…i pray that she’ll fall back into me before the light becomes the dark.”

-alexander michael

a simple thank you..

to start this off… i’m going to be blunt and honest. i have no idea what is going on. i haven’t talked to any of the guys specifically on the matter. so for those of you who are reading this blog in hopes of an answer, or in hopes of getting more information..i am sorry to say that i am going to disappoint you.

i’m writing this blog to say that i support them no matter what. i realize people are going to tweet me and post “you are a brown noser” or “stop kissing so much ass”…but to be honest..i don’t care. (no pun intended) fall out boy is one of the few bands who have a had a significant impact on my life and as an artist. here is a picture of me and pete from five or so years ago. my brace face and all. the first time i ever crowd surfed was to “tell mick…” and i swear to god pete pointed at me as a floated across the crowd pointing back at him, screaming the words that he poured his heart, soul, and un-trimmed chest  into writing. first time i got kicked out of a concert? fall out boy. i was singing along to “saturday” and accidentally punched a security guard in the jaw while throwing my fist up to a break in the bridge. fall out boy were a group of guys..just like us. some considered them underdogs..yet they took the world by storm. patrick has taught me that singers in this genre don’t just have to play three power chords and hit simple cheap notes when they sing. we can be soulful.. we can actually sing with a little bit of emotion. patrick has taught me so much about being myself as a singer, artist, and as a person..and that as long as i am honest with myself..people will follow.

i was just like a lot of you guys. i’d ditch school, camp out at the venue the morning of the shows, and stand outside in the cold waiting for the guys to come outside so i could nervously shake their hand and tell them that their music had changed my life. i knew that they probably got it three hundred times a day..but i didn’t mind. they always made me feel like it meant something to them. and to this day…i believe it did.

i have fall out boy to thank for almost everything i have. pete listening to me sing at a gym class heroes video shoot senior week during my finals. he was dressed up as elvis, but still found time to give a nerdy little vegas kids with braces a shot at playing a song or two on guitar. they invited me to come out on tour with them for a few days…where me and patrick ended up forming our song “bounce” and talking about hell boy comics. pete has also taught me not to take naked photos of myself…haha just kidding ;) i can still remember waking up at pete’s house to hemmingway attacking my face as if it was normandy, and pete laughing like an 8 year old as he filmed it on his old school video camera.

i apologize for getting so nostalgic on you…but i want you to know that i am right there with you guys. it has hit me hard like i’m sure it has all of you. here is what you have to think about though…

fall out boy will never be completely over.

i have enough memories to last me three lifetimes. they’ve put enough wind in my sails to push me around the world a dozen or so times. they won’t be forgotten. how many bands that you listen to were started because of fall out boy? or at least we’re inspired by their songs and sounds.  fall out boy wasn’t just a band. it was a movement. it was the light between the clouds that showed that us kids can become something great. it was the fact the we can all change the world in our own ways. even if we all feel like underdogs sometimes. how can we be mad or upset with them when they have given us so much? i have heard some of patrick’s new stuff…and it is absolutely amazing. pete seems to be getting into something everyday that’s groundbreaking, new, and exciting. none of our boys are going anywhere. we need to be proud of them. i’m going to support them like they supported me. when i was lonely in my bedroom..i could put on my fall out boy cd and escape for a few minutes. have you guys seen how big little bronx is getting? isn’t he a beautiful little boy? how amazing is that for pete? they’re growing up just like we are…and they deserve a round of applause. a standing ovation. who knows what they’ll do in the future..but we all know what they have done in the past. no one can take fall out boy away from us…

not even them personally.

-alexander deleon

i know i have been promising this blog for awhile. i’ve been doing crazy things such as saying “scout’s honor” though i never was a boy scout. hell…i’ve been crossing my pinkies, and even my pinky toes. i just wanted this one to be perfect. i’ll run is such a powerful and meaningful song to me, i had to make sure that when this blog finally saw the light of day, that it would flourish and be ready to go.  before i get into the actual song, i just want to share something I recently heard about with you guys…

“Jordan from New Found Glory needs our help. His mom, Maureen,  is really sick and we’re trying to raise money to help cover her medical expenses. On Friday, November 27th, she was rushed to Broward General Medical Center CVICU due to a sudden, unidentified infection which has severely weakened her heart. She is in critical, yet stable condition with only 10% of her heart working on it’s own, and may need a transplant.  Because Maureen is without insurance, things are moving real slow and against the clock. For more info click here:
http://helpmendaheart.com

Please take the time to check out our other auctions too.  We’re selling items from Fall Out Boy, The Academy Is.. and The Cab.”

This is some of the worst news I have heard in a long time. Can you imagine? Waking up, feeling sick and then getting word that your heart is giving up on you? One day you are fine..and the next you are fighting the battle of your life. She has no insurance, and we need to help. Not as music fans…but as fans of other people. As fans of strength and compassion. Look..I know my band isn’t very big, and that’s fine, but I have decided to help out in any way that I possibly can. I grew up listening to New Found Glory and going to their shows (see below) and when i heard about this it broke my heart.

I am auctioning off my original lyrics to our song “I’ll Run.” I wrote them in Mr. Sully’s chemistry class back in high school. I was going to save them for myself, maybe give them to my kids down the road, etc…but when I got the opportunity to help get someone a new heart, and a new shot at living with ease and happiness, I had to take it. my family raised me to always give the shirt off of my back to others if they ever needed it. I’d even give the skin off of my back if I had to. Giving my lyrics up for this cause is really the least I can do. The lyrics include the first drafts of the words, and even cash wrote a few lines of lyrical suggestions on them which are included. I know this is just a piece of paper and won’t go for much…but whether it’s 5 dollars or 500 it is going to go straight to Jordan’s mom and it’s going to help her in every single way that it can. If this was my mom, I would hope others would do the same. Go place a bid on them…own a piece of my history, the cab’s history, and help save a life. we are human. love is what we do. it’s who we were born to be.

this story is what i’ll run is all about. the term “i’ll run” isn’t about fitness or exercise. when one runs, or sprints..they are pushing themselves to a limit. they’re putting their all into what they are doing. with one hundred percent intensity, heart, and effort. it’s how we should live life. when you live…live loud. when you love… love with everything you have. why talk when you can scream? why sleep when you can dream? why settle for anything less than the summit? when i sing “i’ll run..have a little faith in me,” i am saying that i will do anything in my power to pick you up off of the ground and i will give everything i have within these bones to make a difference. it’s a promise. it’s about realizing how strong you are. discovering your niche in the world and being happy to fall asleep under the blanket of your own skin.

we will fall down. it’s one thing in life that in inevitable. we can’t do everything on our own. when you see someone around you stumble or fall to pieces, pick them up. help them out. lead by example so when you fall, someone can be there for you. the song is about being scared, feeling lost and alone, but then having someone..your human angel being there to pick you up and restoring your faith in humanity and most importantly yourself. YOU can make more of a difference in the lives of those around you than you will ever realize. i’ve seen it firsthand. THAT is why we need to help and love each other. even if we don’t know them personally. if you have the chance to bring a smile to someone else’s face or happiness to someone else’s soul, don’t ever not take it. that missed opportunity will cast a shadow over a lot more than the 30 seconds it would take to make happen.

i am on my knees begging you to help out in any way you can. the link to the ebay site with my lyrics is at the bottom of this post. you guys know that i don’t sell things. i would never ask for a penny from you if it weren’t for something important. i hope these words mean to  you as much as they mean to me..and if you are the person who ends up taking them home….god bless you and thank you. you have touched a life and that, my friends, is something that no one can ever take away from you.

i love you all and hope you are all doing well.

god bless you Maureen. you’re in my prayers. stay strong…wings of help are on their way.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=170421468777#ht_500wt_1182

-alexander michael deleon

love.

when you fall in love. you fall hard. we’re human we can’t help it. when you love someone, in a way you are trading hearts. you unzip your chest, reach for the heart of your loved and slowly insert it to yours, hoping to lock it away for a forever or two. most of us know the feeling. or maybe not. love is a curiously sly cat. love is falling, but never touching the ground. love is falling up. coincidentally when sitting down to write out each chapter of my life, i always seem to spit out the same bunches of y’s, o’s, and u’s. you find the person you love and it’s like a car crash. life turns to slow motion. it starts with the loss of breath, slowly makes your insides tingles, and ends with your cheeks being pulled up and away..almost like the puppet master himself is tugging at the strings connected to the corners of your mouth. love is your heart smiling in a monumental way. you start spending time with the person you care for and it only gets better. your nose starts to scrunch your nose a lot more…when you laugh, you laugh differently than you ever had before..because this time it’s real. you become attached to living life horizontally, and hell…you even start watching different tv shows and trying foods that you swore on the bible itself you’d never try. yes..maybe even colliflower. why do we fall in love? is it because we don’t want to be alone? can we help it at all? can love be influenced? whatever and however this little guy works…the job almost always gets done until your slow dancing in the kitchen listening to people with far better class, style, and voices sing to you about songs that make you feel like maybe somewhere in this world there is a niche you can finally fit happily into. and you know what? there might even be space for two.

you think about them everyday. you’ve hung all of your memories around all over your mind’s fridge with cute little magnets. you saved the tree bark from the tree you kissed them against. you’ve kept the movie stubs where you snuck out and caught a late night flick about everlasting love. remember walking out and telling them how the love in the movie was nothing compared to the one that you two shared?  you hear their voices in the static between the radio stations that play the same 10 songs that they did three months ago. you see their face in your eyes when you look into the mirror for sympathy on the bi-daily basis. loving them was like swinging on a tire swing. hearing their voice sing into your ear was honestly the glue that held your bones together.  you’d rather be able to lay under the night and just replay “us” in your head and smile to yourself than hold anyone else. you know it might not last forever. but who is to say forever starts or ends today? just like an old lamp, when the sun burns out…you just have to put a new lightbulb in. i don’t know what this all means..or what i’m really saying. i just know that this world has become so materialistic and none of that matters. my dad taught me my whole life that love is the only thing that matters in the end. we are all going through rough times…but things will get better. find someone that shines through it all. i’m still looking for that. i’m just like you guys. i want the ocean eyes. the california mind. the framed angel sky. i know it may take some time…but one day..i’m going to meet a girl who’s smile i use to speak,  and though coins might make the clocks tick, love makes the hearts beat.

i wish you all love and happiness in this life. one in each hand.

goodnight.

-alexander deleon